to pass the time until I can login and play Diablo 3…

Im very delighted to say that its probably the best way to pass the time.

When Im home alone, I yell out to see if anyone can hear me. What I yell is always a yes or no question. Ive been doing this for a long time and I have written down just about every question I have ever yelled. My self doubt tears me apart to the point of never wanting to have lived.

Is there anybody out there?
Do I really know who I am?
Will I ever stop feeling this way?
Am I the only one?
Will I always feel this way?
Can anyone hear me?
Is this pain?
Is this sorrow?
Is this happiness?
Will I be remembered in a way that will make people smile?
Will I ever be good enough?
Will this ever stop?
Will I ever stop?
When it is all said and done, will I have said more than I have done?

Fuck. I’m not going to say anymore. I cant say anymore.

Goodnight. 

when I would wonder about

everyone, everywhere, and everything.

And it all made sense.

Now,

I question

everyone, everywhere, and everything.

And I know no one. Nowhere..

..Nothing…

I miss you.

I hate you.

I make myself forget about you.

Months go by without you crossing my mind for the longest time,

and suddenly,

as if my eyes are opened,

I see the light. I see the shadows.

I see the black and white,

I see the red and yellow,

and green and blue.

Then I dont know what to do.

I close my eyes and put it all away for a later day.

a day that will never come.